1. save…ideally I’d like to save 10k with my next contract, so from March to the end of Feb 2013.
2. Visit Hong Kong and Macau. I’ve been dying to get here and this is the year. Even if it’s a 4-5 day trip, I want to do it this year.
3. Make it to all 3 of my best friends’ weddings this year. Living on the other side of the world makes this no easy task, and yes, it puts a huge damper on my saving and travel goals, but I really don’t want to miss anything. I’m making it to one for sure in Seattle next week!
4. One big trip to Turkey. Meet the parents, marvel at the Hagia Sofia that’s one of my favorite architectural designs ever, see Cappadoccia, and wherever else boo takes me.
I have travel fever so bad right now. I’m thrilled I”m going home for a month, but all i can think about is Vietnam and Bali and Palawan and Thailand again…I keep trying to figure out when I can do it all, but with all of these weddings, it’s 2013 at the earliest. I guess 2012 will be a little bit of an off year sandwiched in between two amazing years? Last year I went to 5 new countries, just about paid off my credit card bill and met my love. This will be a year of getting ducks in a row, keeping close with friends and family back home and then next year will be all about me…yoga retreat in koh tao, scuba certified in palawan and cruising around halong bay. 2012 will be an exercise in patience.
I never write here anymore. Mostly I stopped because people from my real life were interspersed with my Tumblr life and no me gusta. This is my therapy. This is for me.
Lately I’ve been going thru these depressive states. I’m ready to leave Korea, I want out. I hate my job. I have a new job (hopefully better job) lined up for March, but the point is I’m just not happy here anymore. My bad habits have taken over and it’s too easy to make excuses for myself, rather than, let’s say, try and find a gym near my house. I’ll eat grilled cheeses to the max instead of getting off my ass and trying to find a decent gym around these parts. I drink far too much here, eat too much, spend too much. It’s all just become a life of excess and I miss the simple things like waking up, smoking a bowl and going for a walk around a beautiful lake in my old hood. Part of me is ready to pack it all up and move back home. But then I can’t because now I have this awesome boyfriend here. And I need to save more money here. And there’s no jobs back home. And I have no car back home. And I’ll likely have to live with my parents for a bit until I can find a job and a car. And honestly, I’m still having a lot of fun here. It’s not real life here. It’s like being back in my college town when everything was fun and the night life options were plentiful and there was gossip and people to fuck and people to hate and people to laugh at and people who are your new friends even though you’d give anything to be with your old friends.
I’m going home for a month next month and maybe I’ll see that there’s nothing back there for me right now. Maybe I’ll come back refreshed and ready to finish out one more year. After all, it’s always a phase. I’m not thoroughly depressed through and through. It comes and it goes, usually comes Monday thru Friday and I’m good Friday through most of Sunday. I just know that this isn’t my real life and I want a house and I want a real job. I want a real bed and and a bathtub and a sack of delicious fruity green buds and I want to swim in a pool and eavesdrop on people and not here the Korean stock phrases of “I envy you” or “Take a rest” or “It’s good for health.” I want to hug my mom and play with my kitties and walk on grass and go through a drive thru and be immersed in diversity and eat a cuban sandwich with real dill pickles. Sure, I can handle one more year. I’m resilient. And the incentive of saving a shit ton of money is incentive enough, lesbehonest. But sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and click my heels three times and be done with it all.